Sunday, November 14, 2010

Eyes to See

My PRECIOUS niece J started begging my mom, aka NANNY, for some new glasses the other day!!! Now J doesn't really need glasses to help her eye sight, she wanted "SPECIAL" glasses! Come to find out the neighbor girl has REAL glasses! So J insisted that she needed glasses too! Nanny said that J begged and begged for these glasses, and did not stop talking about them until I think she wore Nanny out from all the pleading, begging, negotiating, etc.. that Nanny finally gave in and bought J the "SPECIAL" glasses! When she got these glasses, she was SO happy. J told Nanny when they went out to eat with Pappy that the glasses sure help her see her food much better!!!.. :) Love that girl!!!!
When my mom sent me the pic of J wearing her new glasses at the restaurant, it hit me how I should be begging and begging God to provide some "Special" glasses to help me see more clearly! That I should be pleading, begging, negotiating for "Special" glasses daily so I can see with my Spiritual Eyes the things that He would have me to see! In Luke 18:1-5 says, "Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up. He said: "In a certain town there was a judge who neither feared God nor cared about men. And there was a widow in that town who kept coming to him with the plea, 'Grant me justice against my adversary.' For some time he refused. But finally he said to himself, 'Even though I don't fear God or care about men, yet because this widow keeps bothering me, I will see that she gets justice, so that she wont eventually wear me out with her coming!' " SO thankful that God used a little girl who had to have "Special" glasses, to remind me the simple truth to Always Pray and Not Give Up!!!...Out of the mouth of babes, Huh?!?!

Wednesday, August 11, 2010

A Really Painful Past Month

In the middle of a very unsettled time for 'My Man' and I during our Faith Journey, 'My Man' and I found out we were pregnant last December. We were very shocked by the news. Infact, so suprised we took multiple pregnancy tests, because we were certain we must have purchased defaulted tests. Something had to be wrong...No one in their right mind would try to have a baby in the circumstances we were in! To give you an idea of what our circumstance looked like-- I was working full time in a very negative, emotionally draining working environment, 'My Man' was working two part-time jobs, we just got moved into our apartment-if you call "Moved-In" sleeping on the middle of our living room floor with a couple blankets and pillows. Everything we owned was back in Indiana in storage, except some of our clothes, few towels, 2 cooking pans, some cd's, our Bibles, and the blankets and pillows we were sleeping on! Obviously, this season of life we were in, was not how I always dreamed of finding out that we were expecting! Once we kind of got over the BIG SHOCK- our hearts began to be filled with so much love, joy, and excitement for this baby! We knew God specifically knitted this baby together and that with God there are no accidents! We kind of just started assuming that God was blessing us with this baby as a gift for our obedience and faithfulness to His call of sending us to Florida and all the trials that we had been through! We called all of our family and friends and told them we were pregnant. Everyone was really happy and excited, except for a family member who told us, that they couldn't say they were happy for us! Satan used anyone and anything to try to hurt us! Luckily though, we had plenty of other people who were there for us! Day by day we fell more and more in love with the baby! We would talk to the baby, 'My Man' would sing to the baby-we even came up with the name-we did everything people tell you not to do just incase something would happen! God began to start putting our lives back in order little by little. My sweet big brother and his friend loaded up a U-Haul with all of our large furniture and items along with the neccessities, leaving behind the rest of our stuff. My mom and dad also helped us when there just wasn't a way! Things started to fall into place, except for the prenatal care. To make a long story short, let's just say it was a COMPLETE NIGHTMARE!!!  I began having a little bleeding. I was in the beginning of my 2nd Trimester which was the point I finally felt like I made it to the Safe Zone! I had spotted throughout the whole pregnancy, but that day I had a really bad feeling. That evening when 'My Man' got home we were trying to figure out whether or not we should go to the ER. My Bible study leader 'Doctor Bob' had his daughters who is a Director of Nursing call and share her wisdom. Only God knew I really needed to hear from her the things she told me! I really felt God pressing me to go to the hospital! 'My Man' and I went to the ER late that night. On the way to the hospital I began praying for really good, godly doctors and nurses; that I couldn't handle dealing with one more bad doctor. The minute I sat on the hospital bed I began bleeding alot more and the pain got way more intense. The doctors and nurses I had were amazing! They ran alot of different test. One test in particular I could feel an evil presence dancing around the room, happily knowing how knocked down and helpless 'My Man' and I felt, but it was if God put a boundary up to where it couldn't get close to us. God quickly put the scripture Psalm 91 on my heart and reminded me that He sends Angels and Warriors to guard His children in all their ways! The doctor came in really early that morning and told us the worst news we have ever received. He told us we had lost the baby, that the baby's heart had stopped developing. Our hearts were broken into pieces. We felt so alone, all of our family and friends were so far away. We were brokenhearted, confused, angry, sad.. I kept asking 'My Man', "Why?" "Why would God allow this?" 'My Man' kept telling me to hold as tight as I could to God, to not let go. My aunt and uncle had been planning a trip down for quite a few months. It just so happened they were driving down from Indiana and arrived to Florida when we left the hospital that next morning! God sent them on what they thought was a vacation, to comfort us. My big brothers also came down that week for the Daytona Race week! 'My Man' and I had a whole bunch of people in Indiana praying for us, sending us messages, and calling. Those people really helped us through some of the saddest days. Isaiah 43 and 2 Cor 1:3-7 have been my Go To verses when I felt like just giving up! Our due date was August 19th. This month has been really hard for me. Probably one of the hardest months of all! There are days I just can't keep it together. All to often, being a Pastor's Wife I do feel like a fish in a fish bowl. However, I am very blessed to have an amazing, godly husband who reminds me, to just be ME! I don't think 'My Man' or I will ever be the same- a piece of us will always be missing on earth. I'm excited to one day see what our child looks like, what our child's personality is like, I can't wait to hold our baby! Heaven truly has a whole different meaning to me now. Everytime I think of our baby I am reminded that this is not our home, that we have an Eternal Home that God is preparing for us in Heaven!

Tuesday, July 13, 2010


Do any of you have any Prayer Warriors in your life? I can honestly say 'My Man' and I have a whole slew of them... We are truly blessed beyond measure! Our Prayer Warriors have prayed us through some of the best days of our life, down to the darkest, saddest days of our life! They have walked with us in the "high times" , and have even pulled us out of "ditches" that we found ourselves stuck in! One of my favorite Prayer Warriors is known in my home church as 'Doctor Bob'! 'Doctor Bob' doesn't have a degree or a PhD. Infact, he is just an average man- he is a child of God, a husband, a father, and a grandpa. He is a deacon, a bible study leader, a tech/sound guy, he is a PILLAR in the church!!-simply because he grounds his life in the Word and PRAYER!!!! 'My Man' and I pray one day that we will be half the life-changer that he is! Did I mention that 'Doctor Bob' also owns a TV store-he is the only human I know that can take a conversation on "TV'S" and turn it into something about being "Born Again"?! Who knew there was ever a Evangelical TV salesman, named 'Doctor Bob' without a PhD!?!? If you can't tell this guy has changed our lives forever. He has discipled us throughout our Faith Journey, and has discipled me prior! One of my favorite lessons that God used, 'Doctor Bob' to teach us was on Prayer! This lesson came via text! You read my blog correctly, this grayhaired man can text! 'My Man' always says 'Doctor Bob' teaches in riddles!- Most of the time the text contain such wise information, I am to stupid to understand!~Thank God I have 'My Man' to help me! The lesson on Prayer is a prime example of my "Stupid Sheep-ness". He had us read Matt 26:36-75. Now I am going to point out a few of the many gems that we found while reading these Scriptures. So, it would probably be best if you read them first before reading the rest of my blog. I by no means want to butcher these Scriptures for you! I love how in verse 39 it tells us that Jesus fell on His face to the ground and PRAYED!~How often do I fall on my face to the ground and pray when my "soul is overwhelmed"? Not near enough that is for sure! Verse 41 caught my eye BIG time, "Watch and pray so that you will not fall into temptation. The spirit is willing, but the body is weak."(NIV) I also love how Jesus goes and prays three times total, and everytime He comes back the disciples are SLEEPING!!! That really cracks me up!! I LOL everytime I read this passage!! God doesn't need us to pray! It is for our benefit! Just like the disciples, He didn't need them to pray either, but He knew it would be for their benefit! Jesus knew they would choose to SLEEP instead of praying! I wonder how different the outcome would have been if they chose to PRAY? Would they have been so quick to deny Jesus? Would they have acted like cowards and abandoned Him? Did they recognize Jesus was trying to teach them that PRAYER is KEY??? If we sleep like they did- we allow they enemy to gain victory! We become like the disciples- weak, scared, not bold in our beliefs, water-down Truth, play on the enemy's team, etc. It is easy to point fingers at the disciples, however I am a lot like them! So often the Spirit will warn me of what is about to happen and who and what to watch out for; Yet I still fall into the traps! I am sure I have missed out on many gems that were just for me, left by the King, solely because of my wrong choices! My goal is to make sure I am daily choosing to PRAY and not SLEEP!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010


'My Man' and I have been on this cRaZy, Faith Journey for over a year now! It has been the wildest ride I have ever been on, to say the least!!! I will never forget the day 'My Man' told me that God was calling us to Florida! We were sitting in my Jeep, on his lunch break when he was brave enough to break the news! I thought he was joking!...He had to be kidding right? How could this be? We were in a season when everything was smooth sailing.. we had a nice home, stable jobs in an unstable economy, ministry in a sweet little church, we lived close to family--the same town I lived in my WHOLE life! I always thought it would be neat to live near the beach, but actually moving there was a completely different thing! The look in 'My Man's' eyes gave it away...He was not kidding after all! SO, a month later we were packing, having yard sales, and saying good-byes! We loaded "My Man's' truck up and off we went, knowing God had SOMETHING for us in Florida...but unsure what that SOMETHING would be! This was the beginning of our Faith Journey! The Journey has had it's share of ups and downs, that I will tell about in days to come, but for now I'm going to share a story that God uses on a regular basis to remind me of His amazing love!
God's timing is PERFECT, however I have wrestled with Him on this very thing! He called us in my opinion, one of the worst TIMES of all, considering the job market is terrible! It has taken us forevvvvvvverrrr to get settled, to find a home, a JOB, you name it! With this comes the obvious...we have struggled financially since the day we left our home! One day in the middle of our "Broke-ness" and waiting on God to reveal what exactly He had for us here, I had one of my MANY temper-tantrums to God! They were the usual.."Why did YouCall us here?" "What are You doing?" "Where are You?" "We can't even hardly buy food, gas, everyday neccessities! So what are YOU DOINGGGGGGG?!!!?!" I have this routine of always putting foil on my baking pans every time I bake something in the oven..I'm really not sure why I do that, it is just something I have always done! After my meltdown, I went to the cabinet to get the foil down so I could make dinner and noticed I was out of foil! Well at this time we barely had money to buy necessities, let alone foil! So, I went about my day pouting because of our circumstance! All day God kept telling me it was going to be okay..that He had it all undercontrol, that He loved me beyond measure! 'My Man' came home from his hotel job not long after and he walks in with all kinds of stuff! You see, the hotel has a policy if guest leave stuff in the rooms, you are allowed to take it home if they have checked out!!(execpt valuables and such..OBVIOUSLY) Guess what one of the things in his hand was??? FOIL!!!! Talk about a God of detail!! Only HE knew I really wished we had foil!! Now, I know life would have went on with out foil!! But God used something as simple as FOIL to remind me of how much He loved me! 1 John 3:1 says, "How great is the love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God.." He used foil as a way to show me how much He LAVISHES love on me! It isn't just a sprinkle here and there...He POURS IT, and POURS IT, and POURS it! SO thankful He has it all under control! He knows the things I need and want, even down to the things I leave unspoken!!!!