Finding Faith

When I was in middle school and high school I used to LOVE cheerleading!  I used to eat, sleep, and breathe cheerleading.  I used to practice cheers everywhere I went… in the aisle of the grocery store while my mom was getting groceries, in the hair salon where she worked at, in our living room, in the car, etc!  I  cheered 8^th -11^th grade. I wanted to be a cheerleader in 7^th grade but I was too shy to try out! I was NOT shy around friends, family, people I was close to though! I was also terrified to be in front of crowds (still am!) -- not quite sure how cheerleading and I worked out! ;) However, I am eternally thankful it did because through cheerleading I accepted Christ as Savior. In high school one of my cheerleading coaches was a Christian. Joyce wasn’t a pushy Christian or weird one or anything..she simply lived a Christ-like life out before my eyes in great times and in heart breaking times! I knew I wanted whatever it was she had! One weekend I stayed with her and her daughter who was also a cheerleader, because my mom had to be out of town. Joyce invited me to church. I went and to my surprise the pastor wasn’t boring, the church people there weren’t weird..it wasn’t as BAD as I thought! Side note:  I went to church camp when I was around 10 or 11 years old with my childhood best friends and  IT WAS NOT FUN! And yes I thought all of the people were dorky and weird!  Anyways through Joyce inviting me to church I eventually accepted Christ as savior in high school and then in college chose to make Him Lord of my life! Some people do that all at the same time, me on the other hand am a little slow. It all clicked a few years later!  I like many people through my younger years made a lot of dumb decisions! I failed a lot but thankfully God is faithful everyday and His grace is everlasting!!! Thankfully God loves us right where we are no matter what we have done or where we have been!

“You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die. But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.” ~ Romans 5:6-8

“But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him, and by his wounds we are healed.” ~ Isaiah 53:5

By the way God definitely has a sense of humor...I would have never in a million years dreamed that I would one day grow up to be one of those dorky christian women, nor would I have ever imagined a life being on a WiLd RiDe of a FAITH Journey and married to a pastor. Who would have thought I'd ever end up LOVING church camp and ministry!

Secret To Be Told

 
As I told you in my last post that I would one day get to share with you, what the King of KINGS, Lord of LORDS, our Savior- has been showing us! Well today is the day!!!

When God called us out of our last place in ministry we began praying and asking God to show us what is next! As I told you in my last post, for awhile He kept telling us to “Be Still”. SO during this we took the time to pray, learn, grow, DETOX from ministry ~YES you heard me! Sadly ministry can be toxic on ministry families! We have had both great experiences in ministry and not so great experiences! And in BOTH cases at times you still have to detox yourself because of jUnK from yourself and others!!! During this time we have also been SPONGES when we are around our godly mentors such as Dr. Bob O, my home church pastor Bob W, The Dearings, Mrs. Bev, The Oliphants, ohhh the list could go on and on and ON!! If you can’t tell we are very blessed to have many godly leaders in our lives and I could have a whole blog post just listing them all. I feel like one of the best qualities of my home church is they are good at discipleship!!!

When “My Man”and I first got married, we both knew that one day he would be a part of church planting in some way. “My Man” knew when he was young that he would be in full-time ministry when he was older. He has always had a burden for church planting and a passion to be an instrument to help transform the Church to be more Christ-like. We always joke about this, but “My Man” will tell you that he was that teenager who would always stand up in business meetings annoyed when things were not simplistically biblical!- makes me Laugh Out Loud-for real! ;) This year “My Man” and I started visiting a new church plant on Friday nights led by some sweeties from my home church. God started burdening our hearts for church planting. We began praying for a map for the U.S. that had “the least reached cities in U.S” .We looked and looked online and couldn’t find any. One night in bible study Dr. Bob asked“My Man” to lead the group because he was not going to be there, and I kid you not- in walks one of the ladies with a map from the NAMB!!!! Now you must know this part. We had yet to tell ANYONE the burden God was putting on our hearts! We continued to pray that God would speak through prayer, His word, our mentors, etc-The next Wed. night Bob O randomly said, “If you are called to church planting- you better go church plant, you don’t need Bob O’s opinion!”and then he proceeded talking about whatever else he was talking about! :) “My Man” and I looked at each other knowing we hadn’t told ANYONE yet what we were thinking, and seriously about fell off our seats!!! :)

God kept using scriptures, sermons, and blogs to give us a huge, passionate burden for church planting. We eventually decided we needed to tell people bc we never want to be outside of God’s will. SO we told the godliest people we knew. We even asked some people to join us! ;) We looked on the map from the NAMB- and picked one of the least reached areas in the US. And South Florida is 96 % unchurched- meaning that only FOUR % attends some kind of church. NOW the scary part is that 4% includes churches that are not doctrinally sound. There were hardly any Southern Baptist Churches. We started thinking that God was going to have us go to south Florida and plant as soon as our contract with our rental property was up. The last time I posted we thought the next part of our faith journey would be church planting.

During this time God also placed it on our hearts to have “My Man” finish his degree. But we were confused bc we had very, clear answered prayers. Inwardly our hearts were torn- Church Plant or Finish Degree?!?! My home church pastor, came to my hubby and shared with him a burden that God has placed on his heart, and felt like “My Man” was to be a part of it with some other men. The only thing was, that if he was to be a part of it, the timing would be very close to when we thought God was going to send us to Church Plant. SO we knew we needed to keep praying! And we did! Through prayer we realized WE had confused our housing contract end date with God’s timing! Prayer helped us to see that YES, “My Man” was supposed to finish his degree first, while also serving & sharing my home church pastor’s burden along with the other men! And DOWN THE ROAD church plant or be on staff in a church that helps church plant..WHATEVER the case we know we will be involved in church planting in some fashion!

My hubby will finish his degree at The Southern Baptist Theological Seminary that he started when he was fresh out of high school. We will live on campus. He will work on his degree through the week and will continue working his secular job on the weekends. While we were on SBTS’ website we found they now also have a church planting resource! God is good! I love how he faithfully answers prayer!!! We are thankful He didn’t let our timing get ahead of His!!! “My Man” and I never want to get in God’s way or be too early or miss it altogether!!! We are excited for what God has instore! We know and have known that whether we are in school, ministry, secular work, wherever- our calling is  what Isaiah 61 says. We know we are supposed to live REBELLIOUSLY no matter where this WiLd rIdE of a FAITH journey leads.

We are learning how important prayer is! Prayer is definitely KEY! :)

ISAIAH 61~

The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,because the Lord has anointed me
to proclaim good news to the poor.He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted,
to proclaim freedom for the captives and release from darkness for the prisoners, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor and the day of vengeance of our God,
to comfort all who mourn, and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair.
They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

 They will rebuild the ancient ruins and restore the places long devastated;
they will renew the ruined cities that have been devastated for generations.
Strangers will shepherd your flocks; foreigners will work your fields and vineyards.
And you will be called priests of the Lord, you will be named ministers of our God.
You will feed on the wealth of nations and in their riches you will boast. Instead of your shame
you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance.
And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.

 “For I, the Lord, love justice;I hate robbery and wrongdoing. In my faithfulness I will reward my people and make an everlasting covenant with them. Their descendants will be known among the nations and their offspring among the peoples. All who see them will acknowledge
that they are a people the Lord has blessed.” I delight greatly in the Lord;
my soul rejoices in my God. For he has clothed me with garments of salvation
and arrayed me in a robe of his righteousness, as a bridegroom adorns his head like a priest,
and as a bride adorns herself with her jewels. For as the soil makes the sprout come up
and a garden causes seeds to grow, so the Sovereign Lord will make righteousness
and praise spring up before all nations."

Time for an Update

It's been awhile since I blogged...prob should do an updated post! Since I last posted we now have a Toddler! Our baby girl is now 13 months old! Time is going way too fast...people told us it would. I just want her to stay little. I love the baby/toddler stage! Not only am I certain that I will have Empty Nest Syndrome one day...I think I will be lost if I don't have little ones in the house. And let me clarify...there is not any plans of having another biological child in the near future! I would however take a baby/toddler/child from many countries if God would let me! Not sure my hubby is okay with that many children but I AM! ;) He says one more (adopted), so I say two more (adopted)! ;) Then, he gives me a look! ;) ANYWAYS- Miss princess has started walking-takes 4 or 5 steps then crawls bc she knows she can get to where she is going  a lot faster! She likes people..some people at a distance and some are allowed up in her face! She has 2 cute besties that come to our home for daycare and the cutest little redheaded boyfriend...She is in love! ;) But he has lots of girls who are crazy about him...He is the Daycare Prince Charming! Princess enjoys going to church on Friday nights...YES  I said Friday nights.. UNCONVENTIONAL right??? We have been attending a church plant in the city park lead by some of my favs from my home church. They are truly taking the Truth to places where some are unwilling to go! And guess what??? The Unconventional is reaching people for Christ that probably would be frowned upon in many churches! Praise God for Churches who are able to do church the conventional way and yet be Christ-like!  Princess also likes going to my home church on Sunday mornings...she loves the nursery! She gets to spend time with Mamaw and Mami and all the other sweeties that love on the babies! On Wed. nights she attends the best Prayer group ever...and I mean ever!!!..with mommy and daddy led by Dr.Bob! She is the youngest one there. We are thankful that the older people love having her in there and don't fret when she acts like the toddler that she is!! Princess has lots of family and friends who love on her, and mommy and daddy are thankful for that!!! For the last several months my Man and I have been praying, thinking, praying, talking with the godly people in our lives! We have been seeking the Creator of the Universe, our Father- looking to Him to show us what is next! For months He kept saying "Be Still"... the spaz that I am kept saying... what do you mean "Be Still"?!?! and He kept saying it again and again, "Be Still"...But GOD???... "Be Still" "Let Go, Brooke!" For those of you who are spazzzzy, control freaks like me get how hard it  is to really "Be Still" and "LET GO"! Eventually I gave up the wrestling match with the I AM! Yes...I am the stupid sheep who tries to wrestle with the I AM!!!!! Can we say ignorant!!!! Thankfully His grace is enough...for real!!! Thankful that God sees me as who I will be one day not as I am!  Recently we have had God nudging us, pointing us to what He has instore for our family next! We asked Him to speak through our godly mentors in our lives, we prayed that He would speak to us through the scriptures, prayer etc! The Bible says, "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him." James 1:5   I can't hardly wait to tell you what the King of KINGS, Lord of LORDS has been showing us...what He has planned!!! But for now it will have to wait until another post in the future!!! :) For now it is a secret!!!  Please be praying for our family and praying for others who may end up joining us in this WiLd rIde of a FAITH journey!!!!

~2011~

2011 has been another WiLd RiDe of a FAITH journey! It was everything BUT uninteresting! This year 'My Man and I have been in war!..."A REAL war, a WAR for sOuLs of men!" as Bob O would say! We have witnessed God perform miracles right before our eyes!!!! We have also watched the enemy try to "steal, kill, and destroy" John 10:10...Yet all the while, God's mighty hand was in control of eVeRyThInG!... including the puppet-satan himself!
In ministry I watched God use 'My Man' for the Kingdom in powerful ways!!! I was & am blessed beyond measure to stand alongside of him-- to serve and help in ministry in anyway possible! I watched God use my hubby, by taking a very spiritually dead youth group into an amazing group of students who rededicated their lives to Christ and some who met Him for the very first time! As 'My Man' taught them scriptures and led them by example, -I watched students who went from just coming to church on Sundays, BECAUSE THATS WHAT WE DO ON SUNDAYS!... to students who wanted more of the GOD of the UNIVERSE to be invloved in their lives! Watching them COLLIDE with their CREATOR was every bit of a miracle! 'My Man' got to baptize some of the precious students on his birthday~ Talk about a "Happy Birthday!!!! Love, GOD" kind of blessing that was for him!!! They were the very first students he has ever baptized!! Satan thought he'd throw in a funny one in during this time to try to STEAL the joy!..but the scheme didn't work~ just makes us laugh! A person wouldn't allow their teen to be baptized because 'My Man' wasn't ordained! So somehow I guess that would make their childs baptism not legit???!!! LOL... I wonder if John the Baptist, who baptized JESUS himself...the WiLd CRAZY looking man of the wilderness, who loved him some locusts... was ordained??? I wonder if his LACK OF ordination made the baptisms he performed not legit??? The irony is that the religious/ legalistic leaders of the day interrogated him too!!! (side note-I'm sorry if anyone finds my blog offensive, but my motto after this past year is~ speak Truth always--NO MATTER THE COST and when sin needs called out... CALL IT OUT!!!! Us christians need to stop worrying about stepping on toes, get REAL, STOP playing church & get back to the scriptures!!! Forget this don't want to be offensive crap--Let's face it: THE CROSS IS OFFENSIVE!!!.......... "Wounds from a friend can be trusted but an enemy multiplies kisses." Proverbs 27:6)
That particular scheme wasn't the only CrAzY idea of a scheme that satan tried this past year. We experienced MANY trials in ministry, but all of them just made us more bold and determined to speak the Scriptures no matter what the cost was!!! The cool thing was how when satan thought he knocked us down God put a whole slew of ppl to stand along side of us and support us thru the trials! A big lesson I learned this year is that God sends people to certain missionfields, and there will be times in ministry when only SOME people who recieve the Truths...but just like what Jesus says in Matt. 10:14-15 "If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave that home or town. I tell you the truth, it will be more bearable for Sodom and Gomorrah on the day of judgement..."
After God called us out of our last place of ministry, He sent us back home with fam and friends which some have went thru very similar things in ministry! Def. has been a huge blessing to us! God immediately gave Brad a secular job, and has even opened up ministry opportunities as well! God had us live with fam for a short time, and on our 3rd anniversary we moved in our cute home that we are renting! It feels very homey!
The BEST thing that has happened to us this year is-- on MAY 10,2011, God gave us Kaeley-Belle! She is proof of God's faithfulness and grace! From the day we found out we were pregnant with her...God has shown us that He is in the miracle making business! She def. has God's autograph written all over her story! I couldn't even keep down vitamins--not even kids vitamins! And those of you who know my diet of fries and mac n cheese are def. not the healthiest!!! We def. thank God for her, and feel blessed beyond measure that He has allowed us to be her parents!!!!! She is sassy, strong willed, full of love, has joy overflowing, and def. has a unique "Kaeley-Belle quirkiness!" She SHINES for Him already! I can see in her eyes that He has HUGE plans for her!!! Our love for her is indescribable!!!!
The Truth that God never leaves or forsakes His, has been evident in our journey in 2011! Even though we faced many trials, through God's grace and faithfulness, HE carried us through them all! I'm excited to see what God has planned for the next part of our faith journey this new year!!!!

"Kaeley-Belle Squarepants"

It has been a long time since I blogged...the schedule of this new mom...well to be honest the word schedule isn't even in our vocabulary these days much less our daily life. I can say the word "SLEEP" comes up frequently! ANYWAYS... we have a new, precious gift that has been added into our lives!!! DELIGHTED is an understatement as to how we feel about our daughter Kaeley-Belle! She is absolutely amazing! We simply adore her!!! She is truly an example of the power of prayer! In the beginning of our pregnancy we had a pregnancy scare...and this was very scary to us bc we had already lost one baby prior and took awhile to get pregnant again! (or it sure felt like it anyways!) This child had ppl all over prayin for her! I had a ruff pregnancy in the first half..I couldn't take ANY vitamins the entire pregnancy w/o gettin sick and for those of you who know my diet of french fries and mac & cheese are def. not the healthiest!!! So Kaeley-Belle has God's autograh written all over her! God is so good bc when I was worried about her due to the lack of vitamins,this sweet n precious pastor's wife from another church in the community we were minstering in, who brought her oldest child to the preschool I worked in, Just SO happened to tell me with her newest baby she couldn't take ANY vitamins either and he did just as well as her 1st child on the testing they do in the hospitals when they are born! Only GOD knew I needed to hear that story to ease my mind! I love when God Just SO happens to put the right person in your path for the day especially to help drown out the lies that the enemy loves to tell. Today I have another example of this Just SO happens stuff...Kaeley-Belle is sometimes known as Kaeley-Belle Squarepants in our household, and another one 'My Man' started to call her is Kaeley-Belle stinkypants! He even in the appropriate times likes to make up different lyrics everytime he changes her to the tune of the spongebob song! (Are you starting to get a visual as to why the word schedule isn't a part of the vocabulary in our house?!) If you can't tell we run a tight ship and everything is Oh SO serious!! Kaeley-Belle has been teething since we moved back to Indiana 3 weeks ago..Me being the typical "New Mom" that I am has been observing other babies around K's age! I have been noticing how opposite of a "self-soothed" baby K is! She is def a HIGH NEEDY baby! She is a spaz and sassy just like.... ME! = / In the midst of my observations, I started to do the "New Mom thing" where I started thinkin that perhaps I was doing something wrong and thinking what a lousy job I was doin as a mother! And you bet the enemy ran with it! So on top of the teething and me wallowing in the FUNK, these last few weeks have been a lil crazy! The last few nights..."SLEEP" has once again been on our dream list! SO you bet, during the days I am in mommy-zombie mode! As I was wallowing in the FUNK in mommy-zombie mode, GOD Just SO happens to have me run across Dr.Sears' website. As He highlighted characteristics of a high needy baby for me...I realized that Kaeley-Belle has every characteristic! ;) As God began to have me read more into it...the goosebumps ran from my head down to my toes! Here is my notes I took:

1. Intense babies feel deeply and react mightily...have a DRIVEN personality

2. Hyperactive babies, (in our world-a baby gymnast) as Dr. Sears puts it, "Some highly

creative, world changing people were at one time or another labeled hyperactive as a child."

3. Draining days should be called "giving" days

4. Feeds Frequently.. Rigid Schedule isn't even in high needy babies vocabulary! (sounds

familar!!!)

5. Demanding babies are DETERMINED.. determined babies often develop into leaders

who will not just take the easy, popular route!

6. Awakens Frequently... "Needs everything BUT sleep!"

7. Unsatisfied: what works this time might not work the next!

8. Unpredictable =Never boring; No middle emotion-(extreme mood swings); TRANSPARENCY

9. Super Sensitive- "Easily bothered" Doesn't accept substitute caregivers- They are

"tuned-in" to surroundings. They become kids who care/ sensitive towards others needs.

They develop great discernment. The ability to think through choices.

10. "Can't put baby down"- they love touch and physical contact.

11. "Not a Self-Soother"- they want interactaction with ppl not things.

12. "Seperation Sensitive"- they have great discernment; can form deep attatchments;

they fuss loudly bc they care deeply.

*www.askdrsears.com

Talk about Psalm 139:13-16!! And let me tell you not only do I pray those scripture verses over Miss Kaeley-Belle Squarepants but I also now pray God would use those "HIGH NEEDY" characteristics for the One whose ways are HIGHer!


"For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place, when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. You eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be." Psalm 139:13-16

DETOUR....

Our Faith Journey has been far from boring...and I can't honestly say I'd want it any other way! It certainly has had its share of up's and down's, high times and low times...but following God's call has truly been the greatest adventure of my life! Detours, a.k.a different plans than mine, in this adventurous Faith Journey are starting to be anticipated! You'd thought a LONG time ago that I would have just EXPECTED the detours as a given!!

A recent detour is one that I'm absolutely thrilled to share... I get to be a stay-at-home wife/mom! Honestly, this is something that I never thought I would do full-time. Part-time has crossed my mind, but full-time was just something I had not really given much thought to! Over the past few months God has been pressing it on my heart to stay-at-home and to get back to the BASICS! Sadly to admit, I kept ignoring Him!! To begin with, Brad being at the time, bivocational, financially it was not even a possiblity! Needless to say over and over again, God kept telling me I needed to stay home and be more of a help to my husband and also to his ministry. And for starters, my own ministry starts in the HOME!!! God began to make our household so chaotic; Our house has been a disaster, I have had tons of laundry I can't get caught up on, the dishes have been piled high (it just so happens that our dishwasher broke in the midst of God trying to get my attention!), I still have boxes that are sitting in my downstairs closet that need unpacked, I haven't went to the grocery store to stock up in months...you get the picture! Our household has had VERY little organization and been far from a serene environment! Those of you who know me, know how much I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE organization!!! Saying that I LOVE having a clean house would be an understatement! God, used the fact that I have been working and going to school full-time, being a wife and a pastor's wife, and being in the last months of my pregnancy to get my attention! Did I mention that on top of my husband working over full-time in ministry every week, and working at the hotel, that he was picking up MY slack, all the while I thought I was "JuGgLiNg"!!! Talk about a "BoZo on this bus"!!! God was yelling loudly that I can't juggle it all no matter how hard I kept trying!!

During this time, I also did NOT have peace about sending our baby to daycare (even though she would have went to work with me and where I work is the TOP childcare center in this area)! The baby would have been in GREAT hands, but 'My Man' and I felt TONS of conviction about having someone else raise our child throughout the day, which ultimately would mean they would be a primary influence spiritually in our child's life! That just seems so BACKWARDS to us!! 'My Man' and I want to be the primary influence in our child's life, and felt God telling us, "When it is all said and done-you both will be held accountable for how faithful you are even with this child!!!" Believe me, in all areas of our life, we want God to be able to say, "Well done, my good and faithful servants!"

After God having to use all of these things together as a megaphone to get my attention, I finally fell on my face before Him! It was obvious I had to rid things out of my life and get back to the basics!! With-in a week of 'My Man' and I praying that God would make a way for me to be able to be a stay-at-home wife and mother, God opened up a door which would allow 'My Man' to be full-time at the church without having to continue to work at the hotel- which would also allow me to stay at home! God kept giving me signs all around that it was the right choice to stay at home! Satan of course kept trying to put doubts in my mind... even to the point of trying to use christians who would ask me how we would be able to make it! Satan tried to use any possible way to make us question God...me mostly!!! I kept praying and praying, and God kept reaffirming over-and-over again!!! Yes, we will have to live tightly, but we both know it is the right thing for us to do!!! This detour will force us to trust God even more, that we wont be able to rely on secular checks to provide! I'm excited to see how God moves and makes a way! This detour is one that surely came by suprise, but it is one scenic route I don't want to miss!!

A Valentine from Heaven...Glitter and ALL!!!

Today was just one of those days!!! Drained, Tired, ANNOYED, ready to go cRaZy (or all ready there-not sure what the case may be!),... is just a few ways to describe my mood!!! This evening we had Hang Time with the youth at church. The little kiddos were hanging out in the gym while their parents had "Parents' Night Out!" One of the little girls came running up to me, gave me a HUGE hug, and then said, "I pray for your baby!!!" Talk about TEAR ME UP!!! As if the hug wasn't enough to put the biggest smile on my face...that was just icing on the cake that pierced my heart to it's core! It was convicting and precious all in one! No doubt a great BIG, GIANT hug from GOD; a real Valentine sent by Him through the arms of a child! That sparkly Valentine that shined so BRIGHT for HIM , was no doubt one of the best ones I have ever received! Thank You God for reminding me to have faith and love like a child, and to always shine like stars in the universe--boy do I have TONS of work to do!
~ Luke 18:17, " Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it."
~Philippians 2:14-15, "Do everything without complaining or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a crooked and depraved generation, in which you shine like the stars in the universe"